Ang tulang ito ay buong pusong inaalay sa mga lumahok sa usaping pagibig sa PinoyTayo forum.
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Panahon ng Paglimot
kapag ang pusong umiibig ay di na tumitibok…
at ang isip na pagal ay suko na sa pagsubok…
kapag ang dating halik ay di na singtamis…
at ang malambing na bulong ay naging hinagpis…
kapag ang init ng yakap ay di na hinahanap…
at samyo ng pagmamahal ay di na nalalanghap…
mayapat oras na, upang pag-irog ay lisanin…
isuko na ang dating marubdob na damdamin…
walang patutunguhan ang pag-ibig na sikil…
salat sa pagtingin, at sa pag-unawa ay pigil…
mahusay pang harapin ang hamon ng panahon…
at hayaang ang puso ay maging mahinahon…
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katha ni: jundy raga @ 2009
June 26, 2009
So, after I finish my PhD (if I do finish it), I plan on taking up law (civil law to be exact, so I can be more useful to my neighbors). Many of those to whom I have shared this plan have asked me why I am so persistent with studying and why I don’t seem to get tired of going to school. I just smile and tell them that I like it, but the real reason is that I’m addicted to it. I just can’t stop it. This is because my study, enables me to sustain the only three valuables that I have in life, these are: (1) My Family, (2) My Education, and (3) My Principles. Although presumably, study seems to be linked only to the second valuable, all three are actually interlinked and interdependent. Thus, any factor that supports one of them, actually lends support to all. Allow me to explain.
Studying provides one with education. Education enables one to accumulate knowledge. Knowledge leads to learning, learning leads to proper discernment between what is right and wrong, just and unjust, truth and falsity. This discernment in turn serves as foundation for a proper set of principles; principles which inevitably one uses to raise a good family, a good family which then contributes not only to one’s contentment in life but to the overall improvement of society itself.
So you see, I am addicted with my study because it powers the person that is me. However, my study is not just a quest for myself, but actually an endeavor that attempts to infuse a positive outlook on society and eventually, to the world itself. There is a very good adage:
“If you want to change the world, you better start with yourself”.
This is exactly how I view my study; it’s about changing the world through “me”. Sadly not many people share the same perspective in studying. Most people see only the aesthetic value of education. They earn a degree, they use the degree to land a good job, they get a good job so they can earn a big salary, and they want a big salary so they can buy a lot of property. Accumulated property that, when they die, they just leave behind. Where is the legacy in that? This is the reason why many people stop studying as soon as they earn a degree. Because you don’t need that many degrees to earn a good job, you only need one (if you’re really that good).
But degrees and jobs are mere sedentary extracts of studying. They are just mere markers that you pick up at the end of the line. Like anything good in life, the true value of studying is in the journey itself. The actual act of studying is what molds you: the interaction with peers informs you, the trials and pressures strengthen you, and the entire concept instills humility and meekness into you. Yes, jobs also provide interaction and pressure and there are also trials and difficulties there. But jobs are repetitive tasks, you do the same thing over and over again and soon you will find that even the most difficult of tasks becomes the easiest of chores. Soon, after you’ve been with a job for sometime, you realize that you’re expertise in that job removes the humility from you and replaces it with a certain level of egotism.
Like any other type of addiction, my addiction towards studying compels me to seek it because it clings on to a specific desire that I have. And that is the desire to raise a good family. A good family which, long after I have gone, will still remember me. And that is what I call a legacy.
May 15, 2009
What do you do when you know you no longer have the strength to do the things that people expect you to do? What do you do when the body who has served you so well have lost its rhythm and developed an awareness of its own mortality? What do you do when even the mastery of pain no longer shields you from the worries of its repercussions?
You pretend! That’s what you do! You pretend that you still can fulfill the expectations of people that depend on you. Pretending may be imaginary, but it gives you hope. Hope not for yourself, but for the people you love. And you don’t lose hope for these people! Not even when the connection between your mind and body starts to fade.
You push! You exert more will into that body of yours so as to meet mortality with honor and in grace. Life is a continuous battle and we are all warriors in its field. Some warriors plead, some tremble in fear, some are stoic of death’s wake. But death too is a warrior! Valiant, honorable, and undefeated! It only gives dignity to those who fight it head on and humiliates the cowards with a somber experience.
You prepare! Knowing that the reason we will die is because we are alive… It is the single most natural and universal truth of our existence. And yet, very few have grasp or come to terms with it. The unparalleled virtue of the paradox of death reveals itself only to those brave enough to look it in the eye. It touches the heart of anyone who by sheer lack of reluctance has come to embrace the value of death and has come to see it as an opportunity to make life even better. Death making life better… no paradox have ever been deeper, and much as I would want to expound, the inability of many to accept would surely hinder their understanding.
What do you do then? Nothing and perhaps no more… life is but a cycle and focusing too much on the prospect of non-being distorts the rhythm of that cycle. In the end, after all the good words have been said, it is so much better to enjoy life as it is and to face death in a question-less state.
April 28, 2009
Life would be so much simpler without the burden of family. I can do whatever I want, I can go anywhere I will, and probably pamper myself with any leisure I desire. But fact is, I just can’t live without them. I can’t imagine myself traversing this plane of existence all by myself – not caring for anyone, not looking after a loved one, not showing compassion for the ancestry that defines the very root of my being.
It is true, caring for my family lays additional yoke on my shoulders. But they also ascribe within me the person that I want to be. They define the set of beliefs that I adhere, conserve the will of fortitude that keeps me in my pace, and envelops and enlightens even the remotest memories of my past.
The images I conjure of what I would be without my family are both poignant and restrained. Laid out on some cold pavement… crying alone… devoid of all the vigor and voice in life, suffering from all the foolishness of youth. Wanting to surrender to the perplexity of old age but being too afraid to vanish in the wanton negligence of eternity.
How I dread those images. That is the reason why I’m keeping my family no matter what the cost. I’m lending a hand, sacrificing whatever I can and struggling to keep the ties bind. Because a family is not a commodity neither can it be replenished, but they are always on the brink of extinction under the mistaken impression that life would be so much better without them.
April 22, 2009
I’m thinking of what to write but I couldn’t write. This crappy friendster space has gotten all the will to write out of my system. When they emailed me about this new set of blog themes they created they said it was going to be better than the old one. As it turned out, they only tried to improve the aesthetic of the site, not the features itself. For one, the pages of the previous design was much wider, accomodating more text in a single line. For another, they removed all the pictures which I exerted so many efforts uploading. They didn’t even had the courtesy to inform me that the pictures will be removed. Lastly, the format of my old posts doesn’t fit into the format of the new one. Most of the text of my old posts got garbled up for some reason I don’t know. Do they expect me to clean those posts up again one by one?
This is crap. They promised improvement but it seems to me like all i got are downgrades. I know this site is free and that I probably don’t have the right to even complain about the policies I accepted before using it but I think the friendster blog staff should have first consulted Spencer Johnson’s book about moving cheeses before they implemented their so called upgrades.
Just spilling out my grudge!
November 23, 2008
To get married, two people need to say “I do” to symbolize their acceptance of each other’s love, devotion, and responsibility. They usually do this in public (or in front of their witnesses) to declare to the world of their resolute to their vows. Family and friends of the bride and groom usually greet the couple with the usual “Congratulations and Best Wishes” phrase. Well, my sister is getting married soon and I have been giving it some thought on what I should tell them on their wedding day. The poem below is an expression of my thoughts. To Jerry and Emy, when you say “I do” to each other on your wedding day, I will be in the back saying “I agree”.
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CopyRight @2008 JundyRaga
September 2, 2008
Continue Reading August 29, 2008
My mother, she who gave me life. I am trying so hard to depict her character in a poem so I can project an image of her but I simply can’t. Hers is a complex mixture of simplicity and depth that is very difficult to depict in words. Just yesterday, she asked me whether I would be giving her a gift on her upcoming birthday and I pretended not to care; instead of being frustrated, she accepted it as it is and tried to find justifications for my action. Such is my mother, loving without a hint of egoism, a realist without any sense of cynicism, but always able to keep us morally upright whenever we need to be without projecting a sense of condescension. She will be turning 61 this coming September 1st and I have a very special gift for her, one I know she will cherish the rest of her life. The poem below will be on the back side of this gift, reminding me and everyone, how much my mother have given me and how very little I have given her in return.
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Just a reminder to those who may not realize it. We should not be wasting anytime, our mothers will not be with us forever. Let us love them while they are still here so we can remember how well they loved us when they’re gone.
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CopyRight@2008 JundyRaga
August 26, 2008
My sister Emy and her fiance Jerry got married in Las Vegas a few months ago, although the day was very significant for the new couple, here in the Philippines it was pretty uneventful, the reason is because we are still waiting for them to come this coming December for their formal wedding rites. My wife Jenny is now acting as Emy’s official wedding coordinator and just yesterday, she mentioned that I should prepare a wedding speech for the couple. The wedding is still due on December 29, however, it striked me that I should have written a wedding speech for the couple even in their Vegas wedding. I was so much occupied with my work back then that it never even occurred to me to greet them. But as how wisemen of old have said, it’s always better late than never. To Jerry and Emy, here’s the message that I never delivered in your Las Vegas wedding.
Knowing that the two of you have finally decided to tie the knot, I am sure as one can humanly be of your combined future. Not that I had any doubts! But now I shall be able to identify the two of you as one – indissolubly as not before, and I am very glad of it. My own experience has taught me that in the intimacy and friendship which marriage brings, the truest happiness can only be found in the mutual sharing of joys and sorrows, of anxieties and responsibilities, and in the wholehearted cooperation in each others interests as well as personal ambitions. Marriage, at its worst, is a very tragic thing; but at its best, it represents something which has never been surpassed, and that, I believe, the two of you are capable of attaining together.
To Jerry, I know you will take good care of your wife and in return, I can only say that the affection and anxiety and interest which I have given to each member of my family will now also be yours. On behalf of my father and mother, I think I can promise you the strong affection of the entire family as a fortress. We are pretty vigorous individualists but as a family, we back members against the world.
To Emy, well, you know there are a lot of things we often disagree with. At least now we can say this, in Jerry, we found something we can agree upon. It is now your inestimable privilege to honor and cherish your husband. Learn to trust his judgment instinctively, almost beyond reason, and learn how to insist your opinions and suggestions subtlety and delicately. Depend on him, but do not forget to cultivate your own garden, for only in this way you will have more to give him and may love him wisely.
To both of you, love strongly and seek each other in strength but be careful not to possess each other. To quote from the poet Kahil Gibran:
“Let there be space in your togetherness. Love one another, but make not the bound of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your soul.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but each one of you be alone, even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
And stand together, yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, and the oaktree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.”
To both of you! Congratulations and Best Wishes!
August 18, 2008
July 24, 2008. This day, Jenny and I have to rush Yani to the hospital
due to a very high fever and red rashes showing all over her face. Yani’s temperature at that time was 40.7 degrees celcius. At the emergency room, after the initial interview, the nurse on duty immediately administered intravenously an anti-allergy solution into Yani to treat the rashes on her face and gave her 5ml of Tempra solution to pacify her fever. The pediatrician looked at her rashes (which was isolated only in her face) and also inside her mouth and
throat, he found little red spots in her tongue which he said is a simple case of “singaw” which will heal by itself. Finding nothing too serious about Yani physically the doctor then requested a urinalysis to further determine the cause of the fever. After some time, Yani’s fever started to cease and the urinalysis result show a slight increase on bacteria traces, which the doctor then presumed is causing her fever. He then prescribed several anti-biotics which Yani was supposed to take for seven days and then sent us home.
Unfortunately, four days later, after finishing two bottles each of the prescribed anti-biotics, Yani’s fever still intermittently come and go. So we decided to get a second opinion and went to Yani’s first pediatrician, Dr. Marissa Salas. After looking at Yani and the urinalysis result, she said that the cause of the fever might not be
the increased bacteria trace on her urine but the growing spots inside her mouth (which is now yellowish in color). It turned out that these yellowish spots are viral infections of herpes type (not the sexual variety). According to her, the medicines first prescribed to us would not work because it was only meant to fight fungi infections. And so, Yani was once again prescribed a new set of medicine, hopefully, for the better.
This is only the second time we have to rush Yani to the hospital since she was born and also the second time she had a major illness, the first time was when she was still six months old, so one can easily imagine how nervous Jenny and I are because we are not used to Yani being sick. Up until now Yani is still recuperating, although she’s still insisting to go to school despite her condition. I’m only hoping she gets well soon, to get some relief from the pressure. It’s difficult enough being parents, its even more difficult when children gets sick. A difficult page to add to a father’s lifetime.
July 29, 2008
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